Finding a shared experience as an LGBTQ Ally

by

I remember where I was the moment I became an Ally.

It was 2005, and I was working for a financial services company. Our new Chief Security Officer (CSO) held a DEI event that was not aligned to any external context such as Pride or International Women’s Day. I was intrigued.

He had joined the company as a veteran of the United States military where he was responsible for a very large part of our country’s cybersecurity defense. For 20 years of his career he had to hide who he was, under penalty of being fired, from a job that he loved and did with passion out of service to the nation. As he told his story, he recalled that the amount of mental energy he had to use to hide his true self from his peers was often as high as 20 percent of his brain capacity. He was just starting to feel the effects of being free from that yoke after joining our company where he could devote himself to his work, authentically and undistracted. 

A lot of DEI discussion is centered on the benefits of building stronger, diverse teams that solve problems with more creativity. Or on sourcing talent from a wider pool in a tight labor market and ensuring people stay for the long haul. What often gets overlooked—and what I never thought about until I met this CSO—is the unseen and unquantifiable consequence of lost productivity.

I heard his incredible perspective and thought, “Wow! I can totally relate.”

As a woman who started her career in the male-dominated technology and financial services industries in the early 2000s I understand what it means to have to hide a part of yourself. Because I communicate succinctly and directly, I have often been told I am not communicating like a woman should. My track record of early promotions and quantifiable business impact didn’t matter. My communication style was deemed “too direct,” and every performance review included a list of things I should do to try to change myself.

Computer with Pride Ally sticker displayed

I put a lot of time and energy into this. Maybe up to 20 percent! But attempts to change who I was failed, year after year, until about 20 years into my career at a time when it’s become more acceptable for a woman to be direct. (Having some gray hair, wrinkles, and a VP title probably helps my case.) 

I understand that the struggle for workplace gender equality and the challenges that LGBTQ+ individuals face are not necessarily a one-to-one comparison. But my personal experience helped me empathize with the stress and distraction those who identify as LGBTQ+ may have to deal with if not allowed to be who they are while trying to do their jobs. 

As a Senior Leadership Team (SLT) member at JupiterOne, I can honestly say we take DEI at every level seriously for both our employees and their families. I know this because I recently took an afternoon off to support someone I love impacted by the recent passing of an NC law banning transgender healthcare, and our CEO Erkang Zheng was understanding and  supportive.

I am proud to say that our business is fueled by an inclusive culture. Not just because we’re all nice, empathetic people, but because we are laser focused on growing our market share and delivering the best products to our customers. We don’t have time to be distracted, and hiding your true self to make others feel more comfortable is a distraction. I hope that every organization will strive to create a truly inclusive business culture that values individuals for who they are, not who we think they should be.

Thank you for reading my story. If you have the means, I encourage you to consider joining JupiterOne in sharing kindness and compassion to LGBTQ+ youth in need by supporting The Trevor Project.

Rebecca Sanda
Rebecca Sanda

Rebecca is the Vice President of Marketing at JupiterOne. She is an experienced PLG and enterprise B2B marketing professional with a strong background in field marketing, channel marketing, and demand generation.

When she's not busy leading JupiterOne's marketing efforts, you're likely to find her hiking and enjoying the outdoors.

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